Friday, October 2, 2015
Where was my help?
Where was my help when I needed it so bad? As many times as I have come rushing to help out family, dropping the hat even, why would no one come rescue me from him? I was being held CAPTIVE. Was everyone too scared of him to face him and rescue me? I guess so. I had to call the cops on him, and then call a friend to rescue me from the hell that he was putting me though. I had to rescue me. Me, the person who had just gotten out of the hospital from another tragic event. Me, who was being shuffled house to house to be looked after. What was supposed to be a safe place ended up being an asylum. Where were you? Where were any of you? Am I now going to detest the month of October for the rest of my life since he did this to me then? I can't get the images out of my head. He hit me. He fucking hit ME. Me, who was already is so much physical pain, and emotional trauma. Me, who was fragile. Where were you? Two tragic and traumatic events so close to each other. It is a wonder that I can function today. Actually, today I am not functioning too well. In general I am barely functioning with the head and neck and arm pain I feel constantly. Let's just throw PTSD on top of that and have the one person who was supposed to be taking care of me destroy me. Where were you? Where was my help when I needed it so badly?
Friday, January 2, 2015
2014 in Review
I'm not even sure I can write this. So much has happened that was bad between July and now that I don't want to relive. I continue to be sick with the doctors having trouble figuring out what is causing all my continuous pain. I am being forced to move in with friends due to financial reasons. So allow me to try and focus on the good that might have happened in 2014.
Well it ended really good. I kissed Barry on stage at midnight in front of a crowd of people. Embarrassing him is always a wonderful thing. He took me with him to shoot a band in Williamston, NC, which is an hour and an half east of here by car, in the middle of nowhere. The venue was called Deadwood, a Western Theme Park. Unfortunately all the ride were closed down for the season, and I didn't get to walk around to see everything it had to offer. We got there, I said hello to the guys in the band that I did know, was introduced to the three I didn't, and then Barry gave me a camera to help him shoot the show so I wasn't bored all night. It was fun, taking pictures, goofing off with the band, drinking Michelob Light (yuck! but it was the best beer they offered). They called all the single ladies to the stage (turned out it was all the ladies in the bar!) and I was behind the drum rig taking pictures, when all of a sudden all the lights on the stage go out. I though it was a part of the show since they had an amazing light show. As I walked back to the side of the stage Barry comes running over to me "You knocked out the lights!" The lights had already been turned on by then, but I was like "oops, my bad". Still can't figure out how I did that. We had both been walking back there all night getting different shots and I guess I finally hit the right cord. I told Barry I did the band a favor since there wasn't a whole lot of pretty on the stage, anyways. The show ended later than anticipated, we got home later than anticipated (well past 4 am), and I passed out. It was a really fun night and I am glad I went. It was a goo end to a horrible year. Barry has that effect on me.
I was able to spend a lot of time with my parents this year. That is a good thing. The premise of my time with them was not, but my time with them was good. They helped me a lot with my illness and paperwork and red tape.
I made new friends who are also helping me in dealing with my illness. Lots of phone conversations and emails filled with support.
I have learned, again, who my real friends are. Those who are willing to drop everything and help me. I would do the same for them.
If I were to write about the negatives of 2014 this could go on forever. I don't want to harp on them, nor do I want to remember them.
2014 had kicked me, slapped me, and dragged me through the dirt. I am glad it is over. I can only hope that 2015 will bring hope and healing for me so I can get my life back. I hope that 2015 will continue to strengthen the bonds I have with the friends I have in my life now, and with the people I will meet this year.
Well it ended really good. I kissed Barry on stage at midnight in front of a crowd of people. Embarrassing him is always a wonderful thing. He took me with him to shoot a band in Williamston, NC, which is an hour and an half east of here by car, in the middle of nowhere. The venue was called Deadwood, a Western Theme Park. Unfortunately all the ride were closed down for the season, and I didn't get to walk around to see everything it had to offer. We got there, I said hello to the guys in the band that I did know, was introduced to the three I didn't, and then Barry gave me a camera to help him shoot the show so I wasn't bored all night. It was fun, taking pictures, goofing off with the band, drinking Michelob Light (yuck! but it was the best beer they offered). They called all the single ladies to the stage (turned out it was all the ladies in the bar!) and I was behind the drum rig taking pictures, when all of a sudden all the lights on the stage go out. I though it was a part of the show since they had an amazing light show. As I walked back to the side of the stage Barry comes running over to me "You knocked out the lights!" The lights had already been turned on by then, but I was like "oops, my bad". Still can't figure out how I did that. We had both been walking back there all night getting different shots and I guess I finally hit the right cord. I told Barry I did the band a favor since there wasn't a whole lot of pretty on the stage, anyways. The show ended later than anticipated, we got home later than anticipated (well past 4 am), and I passed out. It was a really fun night and I am glad I went. It was a goo end to a horrible year. Barry has that effect on me.
I was able to spend a lot of time with my parents this year. That is a good thing. The premise of my time with them was not, but my time with them was good. They helped me a lot with my illness and paperwork and red tape.
I made new friends who are also helping me in dealing with my illness. Lots of phone conversations and emails filled with support.
I have learned, again, who my real friends are. Those who are willing to drop everything and help me. I would do the same for them.
If I were to write about the negatives of 2014 this could go on forever. I don't want to harp on them, nor do I want to remember them.
2014 had kicked me, slapped me, and dragged me through the dirt. I am glad it is over. I can only hope that 2015 will bring hope and healing for me so I can get my life back. I hope that 2015 will continue to strengthen the bonds I have with the friends I have in my life now, and with the people I will meet this year.
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